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"Thank You Vin Diesel"
posted November 24, 2005 @12:21p
I'm no stranger to being insulted.

That being said, I can confidently claim that I'm really good at understanding an insult. "You're ugly," "you're very annoying," "your face makes me wanna vomit," "you smell like cat food." All these are pretty easy for most anyone to understand. But when they get more complicated, that's when I shine. From experience, I'm very adept at grasping an insult's meaning.

Until yesterday.

So it's Thanksgiving Eve and I'm with some friends, when in walks this guy that doesn't like me at all. Not even a little. Everyone knows he doesn't like me, and he often makes it painfully obviously. For purposes of anonymity, we'll call him... Vin Diesel.

So Vin Diesel comes in, and he's talking about dead chickens and turkeys or whatever, I wasn't exactly paying attention. I've never been interested in discussing the topic of animal carcasses.

As Vin Diesel finishes his story and begins to leave, he says, "you guys have a happy Thanksgiving."

That's pretty nice. Thanks Vin Diesel.

But then he says, "Jason - you, too."

What?? Am I not a guy? ...What?! I don't even begin to understand the meaning behind this one, but this is quite possibly the most puzzling and hilarious insult I've ever received.

Thanks Vin Diesel.

I may never understand what he meant, but I will always treasure the memory of Thanksgiving Eve 2005. I hope all the human people have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Vin Diesel - you, too.


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