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"The Perfect Relationship"
posted February 26, 2006 @4:02p
We laughed together. We shared some emotional moments. We even went through some hard times and turbulence.

But our relationship was perfect.

For almost five hours, we were best friends. But we never made eye contact, and we only exchanged four words.

My flight arrived a few hours ago in San Diego, and I'm referring to the guy that sat beside me on the plane.

There we were, just two guys trying to get ahead in life. Or at least get to San Diego. But as I discovered, we had almost identical wants, needs and interests...

When asked by the flight attendant what I wanted to drink, it was the same thing I always order on a plane: an unopened can of Coke, no glass or ice. After handing me my beverage, she asked my new friend, and he repeated the exact order.


When the inflight movie began, there was no sound. We both reacted by frustratingly pushing the buttons and looking at our flight attendents with concern. It was a difficult time, but we pulled through. And working as a team, we got that sound we so dearly desired.

It was like he was Starsky, and I was Hutch.

During the movie, which happened to be my SEVENTH viewing of "Walk The Line," he was entertained and moved during the same scenes that I was.

Ebert and Roeper.

So by the time I opened my snack pack provided by the airline and found some cheese spread (I don't eat spreadable cheese, because contrary to what Kraft will have me believe, cheese is not meant to spread), I decided to offer it to my plane buddy.

I picked up the "cheese," moved my hand over our shared armrest, and without looking at him, said, "want this?"

He just took it from my hand, looked straight ahead, and said these words:

"Good. Cheese."

We never spoke again.

We adult humans are a strange breed. We can be stuck in an elevator for only a few moments, or be stuck on a plane together for hours and never really interact with the other adult humans that surround us. We're all here, we're all doing pretty much the same same thing; why aren't we more friendly?

I know why.

During our relationship, my cheesefriend and I always got along. We never disagreed, and we never hurt each other. Totally ignoring each other for five hours kept us protected from one another.

Once you begin really sharing and cross that vulnerable relationship line, you're opening yourself up to pain.

Cheesy McCheesespread never hurt me, nor did I him. And I like it that way.

Now I know I said and done alotta things, that I hurt you, but I promise I'lll never do that again.

...Sorry, that's a quote from"'Walk The Line"' I may have watched it one too many times. Or six too many...

Anyway, I'm about to trek it up to LA to see if anything's goin on up there. I'll be careful not to make any new friends while I'm there.


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