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"Watching The Wheels"
posted May 27, 2006 @12:53a
 
I called 911 today. I got their answering machine.

Wikipedia tells me that, according to Karma, "the effects of all deeds actively create present and future experiences," which basically makes me responsible for what happens in my own life.

Around 7pm today, I called 911. The phone rang a few times before I heard the sound of someone picking up on the other end of the line. It was a recording. "Your call is very important to us. Please hold and the next available operator will take your call."

As I sat there on hold with 911, listening to an elevator-style rendition of "Rock & Roll All Night" by Kiss, I wondered if Karma hadn't come knocking. I decided that just in case Karma was behind it, I'd go ahead and hang up the phone. I didn't really wanna wait around and find out what kind of help Karma was going to send me.

Yeah, I guess it could have been worse. I could have been sitting on hold with 911 as someone was beating my face in. It wasn't THAT bad.

But over the past few weeks, I've had some other things happen. I've gotten another speeding ticket, rammed a garage door with my car, and had my VW finally go out of commission. And these things are just the first three on a list of many...

Although at first glance it may seem that Karma is taking vengeance, I don't think that's the case. I think Karma is on my side, and I'll tell you why.

For as long as I can remember, I've been told I'm lazy. People say that my priorities are all out of whack, and that I'm not living up to my potential. In school, my teachers hated me because, although I always appeared to be doing absolutely nothing, I made good grades. Over the course of my many careers, most of my immediate bosses have taken issue with me for similar reasons. People close to me accuse me of just "getting by." So, whether I'm actually lazy or not, I have a gift for appearing as if I'm doing absolutely nothing, and have always had to hear about it from others.

People say I'm lazy, dreaming my life away.

So last week, I went to the doctor. I really dislike going to the doctor, but sometimes it just has to be done. I've seen a doctor a handful of times over the past few years, and every time my affliction has been bad enough for me to leave with a prescription; this time was no different.

Historically, my prescription has been for some antihistamine or antibiotic or pain reliever. But not this time. This time, Karma wrote my prescription: "patient is to wear flip-flops and prop feet above waist level."

Yeah, you heard right.

My doctor wrote me a prescription to kick back, relax, and wear flip-flops. I now have a medical excuse for sitting around and taking it easy. That, my friend, is Karma. All this other stuff is just material for ridiculous stories.

911 called me back later and got my voicemail. Their call is very important to me, I'll get back to them when I have a chance.



 
 


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